Monday, July 6, 2009

PE Spouting History On the London Eye!

Our last day in London

Pocket Edward was dying to show us the city as he knows it because he has lived here with the Pocket Cullens before.

I just couldn't refuse. The little man is dazzling!

Pocket Edward said that the only way to see London is on the famous "London Eye."
Don't know what that is? see above
K so after this insanely long line or "queu" (pronounced cue)

I got in the pod thingie and out jumped PE! He was so excited he almost bit me.

The pods are really big and we all know PE doesn't have the best balance, so I helped him as we went up in the pod to look out the window.

K so we get a little ways up: after what seemed like hours:

PE kept complaining about all the people in the pod, he said that he felt too crowded and as he rose over his favorite city he wanted to brood in peace.

me: *eye roll* Get over it little wee man, ain't happenin'
As we go up he starts complaining about explaining how polluted the river has gotten since he last saw it. He said it used to be clearer.
Me: *eye roll* Whatever Eddie!

Then he cheered up a little bit because as we got very slowly higher Edward loved it because the people looked as small as him or maybe even "smaller."
He was so happy, he has a little bit of sensitivity about his size and that his legs don't move and he can't sit, not that he needs to but you know, he would like the ability.
yay the people are smaller than me! I'm tall! YES! Finally!

We all know that the Cullens are stinkin' rich well-off.

Pocket Eddie went on to tell us that he used to live in a "flat" near the river.

Later, I found out that said "flat" (why don't they just say apartment, geez) was insanely expensive!
Like in the millions of dollars! The high millions!

PE was really humble about it though, he knows I get mad when he talks about all the money he has.

Here he is showing me where it was.

All the buildings look the same to me and I thought all the buildings were businesses.

PE: you really are "special" sometimes huh? (to me)

then I accidentally dropped him! (yeah sure accidentally)

So then we get a little higher and he instructs me to turn him to the right so he can show me this bridge.
He went on forever about the history of this bridge and I so didn't care!
me: why won't you just shut up little dude (in my head) PE would bite me!
PE: blah, blah, blah, blah.........

Then he got mad at me, he could tell I wasn't listening. It may have been because I was rolling my eyes and trying to make him dance while he was blabbing on and on!

Okay, did I mention PE was mad at me, oh and that the London Eye moves so frickin slow? I mean we hadn't gotten that high yet.
PE was giving me the cold shoulder, so I said he may have another "accident," if he didn't stop acting like a baby! He may be small but he's mature!

In the above picture he is brooding....and looking down at the river muttering about stupid people who don't read enough or something!

whatever Edward *rolls eyes*
Me: Quit being such a drama queen!
He growled at me but ignored that comment, for now, I'm sure I'll pay for it later.

So then we get a little bit higher (like I said slowspice) and he continues to try to EDUCATE me on the history of the Thames river and the buildings around it.
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......BORING!
Hand gestures don't help make it any more interesting. He did however, comment on the weather and how it was perfect for him cause you know, no sun but you can still see.

So, while he babbled on, I set him on the ledge against the window for a few minutes.
(I had to get away he would NOT shut up!) Blah blah blah I have two doctorates...blah blah blah...who cares?

As, we were coming back down, he finally showed me something I WANTED to see.
He explained that the clock tower is not Big Ben
Me: No, you are wrong that is Big Ben
PE: No, stupid light haired human, Big Ben is not a clock it's a bell in this tower BEHIND the clock! Then he tried to hit me! Tried is the operative word there!

then, we got to the bottom after what seemed like YEARS and tons of boring PE monologues about how things "used to be." And about the history of everything! and I mean EVERYTHING!

So to recap, Edward had a lot to say, I was in no mood to listen, I was tired and that thing moved so slow, so this wasn't so much of what you would call "an adventure."

The End.


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